The Misadventures of Touhou Strikers
by Shadow1176
Summary: When Yukari feels the need for humor in her life, she sends Suika to interact with the 501st Strike Witches. Fluff and humor galore, as they say. Warning: Alcohol used in story, in a humorous tone.


A/N: This came from an RP in fact, from the RWBY Wiki Chat no less. Please enjoy this adapted piece of fiction. Huggle means hug in affectionate terms. Ja Ne means "See you" in Japanese. Arigatou means "Thank you" in Japanese.

A calm night in one Britannica's many bases.

The winds blew gently, the moon shined brightly, even the clouds themselves were shaped into fluffy, pleasant shapes.

It was not to last.

The newest addition, or rather guest to the base of the 501st Strike Witches, was a curious little girl known as Suika Ibuki.

Standing only at approximately 5 feet, Suika's long ginger hair flowed messily down her back, as her twin white horn protrusions could be seen, clear as day. Her attire consisted of a tattered pale pink blouse, a long purple and pink skirt, and three chain accessories tied to her belt.

Stumbling into the hanger, she continued drinking from her sake gourd and giggling in a drunken stupor.

With a slur to her speech, she says,"H-hai eweryoe... Hahah!"

With another gulp of sake, she sighs in content as Shirley continued working on her Striker Unit while Lucchini sept in the rafters above.

Yoshika comes in, and with a sigh, sits Suika down in a chair.

Suika looks over at Lucchini who had awoken with a cat like yawn and yells, "Want some sake?!"

Lucchini, with a tried expression and an eye rub responds, "I don't do dat stuff, nope."

Suika offers a sake dish to Lucchini with enthusiasm and says, "Have some!"

Opening her mouth, Suika instead shoves the sake gourd down Lucchini's throat.

"ACK!"

As Lucchini falls over, her eyes becoming swirls as she gargles while unconscious, Shirley who noticed what was going on commented, "That's not the only thing going down her throat."

Suika turns around in a perfect about face, as she exclaims,"Oh? You want some too?"

Suika proceeds to pour some more sake in another sake dish for Shirley. Upon its completion, Suika presents the dish to her proclaiming loudly, "Here ya go! Bottoms up!"

As Shirley accepts the dish, she says, "Arigatou."

Yoshika grabs the sake dish from both Shirley and the unconscious Lucchini, as she says sternly, "Suika, you've had too much sake today already!"

With a laugh, Suika responds while drinking from her own gourd, "Nonsense! I can't have enough sake!"

With a curious glance at the sake dish that was untouched, Yoshika murmurs, "Huh..."

In a moment of bravery, Yoshika down the sake dish in a single gulp.

Wiping her mouth with her hand, Suika exclaims with a sigh, "Pah~ That's still great!"

With clear signs of intoxication, Yoshika yells, "I feelz greatest!"

Not a moment later, the poem composed by Elia and Sanya known as Sweet Duet could be heard, Yoshika's terribly off tone voice and drunken slurs ruining the song's beautiful melody.

* * *

_30 miles away..._

Sanya sneezed while they were flying, Elia saying with worry evident in her voice, "Are you getting cold Sanya? Here, let me help you."

Floating underneath her and holding a handkerchief to her nose, Sanya blew her nose, responding with a kind smile, "Arigatou, Eila-Chan."

With worry in her voice still present, Elia asked, "Are you sure you're not sick? I've got another jacket if you need-"

Waving her hand, Sanya responded, "No thank you, I'm not cold. But I feel a shiver, almost as if something precious to me to being distorted..."

* * *

Standing on top of a Striker Launch Unit, Suika gives a speech in the throes of her drunken haze.

"Sake invigorates the soul! It lends power to all of its drinkers! It's solved Incidents with its glorious taste! And -Hic!- It's even delicious!"

Stumbling over to the Striker Launch Units, Yoshika hops in while her magic activates, her ears and tail popping out as she says, "Imma gonna dwink an fly giys!"

Taking off as Shirley had fallen asleep and Lucchini was still unconscious, Yoshika launched herself out through the hangar doors.

Activating her ability, Suika manipulates her density in order to become a colossal giant, as she jumps out of the hangar, landing in the ocean with a massive splash.

Yoshika begins flying around, glacking people drunkenly as she goes along on her merry way.

With a joy known only to the intoxicated, Yoshika yells out at the top of her lungs, "Weeee!"

As she continues flying, she suddenly smacks into Lynette.

"Ohai Lyn-chan!

With a quick huggle, Yoshika continues flying around drunk as Lynette wonders at what she just witnessed.

As Yoshika flies out to sea slightly, Suika who was still skipping about brought her foot down upon Yoshika.

With a nimble yet clumsy dodge roll, Yoshika evaded the massive foot while whooping with laughter.

Calming down, the duo go to sit down on the runway for the Striker Units, as Suika continues drinking from her gourd, without a single spilled drop.

With a jolt, Yoshika exclaims, "That's right! I had a gift for you Suika!"

Rummaging around near Shirley and Lucchini who were still sleeping, Yoshika pulls out a blue and white themed Striker Unit, before handing it to Suika, who had already shrunk back down to a normal size.

Another sake dish was set down in front of Yoshika after Suika poured even more of the intoxicating beverage for her, after she took the Striker from Yoshika with a smile and a word of thanks.

Leaving it in the hangar to be stored later, Suika comments, "Y'know, yur body shouldn't bee abe to holdz all tat sake..."

While terribly intoxicated, Yoshika slurred, "Im fineeee! No nedz to wory bout m-"

With a graceless fall, Yoshika passes out on the runway, even as Suika falls over in her drunken induced state of mind, landing on Yoshika.

Suika begins snoring, the sheer sound being produced comparable to a truck's engine as the entire base could hear the massive snores.

* * *

"A Neuroi?!"

"It can't be! Not already!"

Sanya picks up a massive amount of sound, almost similar to a Neuroi's speech pattern, until, she scans the the area, realizing that there was no one nearby. Eila activates her ability of foretelling the future, but she can't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Eila, could you come over here and help me with finetuning?"

Eila responds with a yes, and flies over to Sanya, stroking her hair as she manually adjusts the finetuning as Sanya also does the same with her mind.

Sanay murmurs, "Just a moment... That's snoring."

Eila looks incredulous, and comments, "Who could be snoring that loudly?"

* * *

Within the throes of her dreams, Yoshika once again dreams of her friend Lynette, to which the contents were unknown yet seemed rather suggestive in nature as Miyafuji began moaning incoherent words.

At the same time, Suika dreams of sake land, a world where sake flows freely as water. Rather, the ocean is sake, and sake became the new water source for all beings, Youkai or otherwise.

With her hands wondering, they somehow grab suika's breasts in her sleep.

A few minutes later, Yoshika starts to wake up. With a slight yawn, Yoshika murmurs,"Morni- ehhhhhhhhhhhh?!"

Yoshika is thrown into a panic, becoming sober in an instant as she freaks out and yells, "I'm sorry!"

Suika continues snoring cutely, as Yoshika realizes that she's still asleep.

Tiptoeing away quiet as she can, Suika suddenly opens her eyes and remarks, "Where are you going?"

Jumping in shock, Yoshika spins around and stutters, "Uhhhh, nowhere? F-flight tra-training?"

With a boisterous yell, Suika says, "If you were going nowhere, why not stay and drink more sake with me!"

With a sweatdrop, Yoshika rubs the back of her head and says, "Uhhhh, yeah, about that, ummm... I'm good."

Walking off and encountering Major Sakamoto, the latter says, "Why do you look like you have a hangover Miyafuji?"

With her hand waving in a motion of denial, Yoshika says, "I-its nothing!"

Suika giggles nearby, offering to Sakamoto, "Want some sake?"

With a look of shock, Sakamoto yells, "Of course not! do you know what happens to Strike Witches that drink sake?!"

Fear and apprehension overtaking her facial expression, Yoshika stutters, "W-what Sakamoto?"

Her next words sent a chill down Yoshika's spine.

"They will lose their powers forever and can never fly again!"

Panic and tears falling from her eyes, Yoshika turns to Suika before yelling,"Suika! What did you make me do?!"

With another drink of sake from her gourd, Suika responds, "Ah don't worry! Sakamoto has had plenty of wine before! And as you may remember, nothing happened to her."

Relief on her face, Yoshika exclaims, "That's right! If that's so, more please!"

Suika gives Sakamoto a sake dish, saying, "Here, drink up!"

Downing the dish in a single gulp, Sakamoto's face becomes consumed in red, as she runs towards Minna again.

Sprinting in panic, Minna yells back, "Not again!"

Sakamoto catches up to Minna and kisses her again lovingly, as Suika continues guzzling sake.

Minna passes out, as Yoshika, the ever dutiful lieutenant catches Minna.

Suika gives Sakamoto a high five, as she returns it, both exclaiming, "Good job!"

Sakamoto proceeds to run off into the distance, as she takes another sake dish with her.

Suika takes another swig of sake, then falls into an extremely deep sleep, her mumbles becoming incoherent and unrecognizable.

A Boundary Gap opens up, as Reimu, having decent control over such powers as lent to her by Yukari, steps through. Reimu proceeds to drag Suika back to the Hakurei Shrine, which was on the other side of the portal.

Bowing in gratitude and apology, Reimu says, "Sorry for dealing with Suika for so long."

Yoshika bows in thanks, saying cheerfully, "Oh, she was no problem at all!"

Suika mutters in her sleep, "Sake for life..."

Reimu drags Suika through the portal to the Hakurei Shrine, and turns around.

Just before the gap closes, Reimu yells through with a wave, "Ja ne!"


End file.
